I have always wanted a home of my own, but after having my first home with him.  I started to think that this is not my home at all, but our home.  I have broken his hearts with these words of mine.

There wasn't any tinge of breaking up when I had that thoughts. I'm just getting more and more aware of what I truly want in my life.  Although loneliness is unavoidable when you're single, nonetheless it happens too when you have a significant other.

 Without passion, there will inevitably be more blame.

When there are more responsibilities, we will have lesser time for our self-time.

At the same time if being grateful, I sigh.

While appreciating and enjoy the experience of visiting here, and I also feel the helplessness and struggle in the world.

 Will I only truly be free when I leave this world?

头皮的问题还受控制了，但是过了这么多年我还是不会打理自己的头发。As much as I would love to have the designed hair but I don't think my scalp can manage and I don't think I can manage. Is there alternative? Yes, I have another hairstyle I like which is army shaved.

朋友合则来不合则散

我也不想去花时间在朋友上了，毕竟没有那个朋友是能完全体会你的感受的。你想要的只是认可，但是你需要吗? I don't have to live under anyone's approval too.

House

I'm not as excited to have my own house anymore as younger times. I don't see anything to look forward to. There are so much restrictions, I can't do as anyhow as I pleased because it all involves money and I don't have a lot of that for now. Of course I can do those things I want in the future. Then might as well don't do anything for now lor. Live the house as it is. Simple use can already. What's the point? I don't see any point for doing anything any more.